Are you a parent of a tiny toddler?
If your answer is “YES” then you are guaranteed to have witnessed the screaming,
thrashing, and crying that is toddler tantrums, on countless occasions. they are
normal and a natural part of your toddler’s development.
Believe it or not… Tantrums are going to happen no matter what precaution you
may take. You cannot get past the toddler years without seeing tantrums, they are
just going to happen.
You should not get scared of toddler tantrums. Toddlers can’t help tantruming as
their brains don’t afford the same emotion control as we adults have. keep in mind
that a toddler’s brain lacks the ability to “put on the brakes control”—to stop
himself from doing something crazy he shouldn’t, like hitting a friend or touching
your phone, pulling something, etc.
Can we control the tantrums of our tiny souls?
Be hopeful – Yes, you should be optimistic …There are things which you can do
to cut down on the frequency and duration of your child’s tantrums.
What all defines the toddler tantrum?
The toddler years are a challenging time because between 1 and 3 years old your
child grows and changes so rapidly. Children this age are very clear on their likes
and dislikes, and what they do and don’t want to do.
Even when young children could repeat a rule to you until they’re about 3½ to 4,
they don’t have the impulse control to act on it.
Tantrums can be of any kind like cloth Color, the shape of fruits cut into, toys not
working as they want them to be, not liking the flavor of food, etc. These lists can be
Why toddler throw tantrums and do crazy things?
they are just being toddlers struggling with big feelings, poor communication skills
and even poorer emotion regulation skills. To us it may seem negligible but to a
toddler these things are as important as going for a job is to us. Just because it’s not
‘big stuff’ to us, it doesn’t mean it isn’t to the toddler.
Few points which can lead to trigger tantrums.
- They feel a disconnect with us – a toddler feels a lack of connection with their parents. This disconnection can be caused due to the arrival of new siblings, going to preschool, mom resuming office after months break. This lack of connection leaves the toddler feeling highly vulnerable, confused, and scared.
- Lack of parents / loved one attention.
- When kids are tired, hungry, or uncomfortable.
- Genuinely, if they are feeling sick and not able to express their discomfort or pain.
- If Tantrums are out of proportion
When can our child stop tantrum by themselves?
They don’t purposefully calm down, they do so for two reasons only – because of they
become exhausted and because they learn that you won’t act as you love them
again until they do.
A parent should know when to say No to Avoid Toddler Tantrums
- To Junk Food – these foods can adversely affect children’s behaviour and you should be very clear from the beginning that your toddler should not be exposed to such foods.
- To Misunderstandings – Encourage toddlers to express frustration or anger verbally. If their language skills are limited, help out.
- Do not impose too many rules –Many rules on your tiny toddler may get them confused to which rules follow and remember. You should be very clear that rules which are of prime importance & are not negotiable and they have to follow it. Rules like holding hands near roads and crowded places, putting seatbelts on while in car etc.
- To Too Many Choices – Don’t give too many choices as they can confuse and overwhelm him.
- Say “No” … And Mean It – It’s far better to say “yes” initially than to change your mind after your child has exploded. You should be very clear that No means no…Otherwise, child will take it granted to throw tantrums forget things done.
- Say “No” To Embarrassment – When a child performs a tantrum in a public place, the best thing you can do is scoop up your child and leave.
- To Frustration Beyond Your Toddler’s Tolerance Limits and in Overwhelming
7 IDEAS THAT ACTUALLY WORK WHEN QUESTION “ HOW TO CONTROL TODDLER TANTRUMS ” COMES
The first thing that needs to be done is for you to observe your toddler for some
time to assess the root cause of when and which event and emotions trigger
tantrums. This will help you narrow it down and find the underlying cause which
will allow you to prevent many of the outbursts.
I. Set A Routines for your tiny ones- Set routine is nothing but a general
guideline of your toddler day that allows your toddler to know and anticipate
what is coming next. So, try to be consistent with the timings of your baby to
eat, sleep, play and other routine activities. Following a pretty consistent
schedule increases the chances of reduced tantrums. A set pattern always
helps in controlling a child’s mood swings (tantrums).
II. Sleeping Pattern – You should always keep an eye on your baby’s
sleeping hours. Toddler tantrums 18 months old baby into sleeping more
than infant babies. Make sure that your toddler is getting enough sleep.
Generally, a toddler requires asleep between 12-14 hours to be happy &
III. Keep the baby’s tummy happy (full) – Hunger can also trigger outbursts in
a toddler. Hunger and sleep deprivation can make your child restless.
Sometimes changes in the meal/snack times also increase the tantrum
IV. Listen to your child’s unsaid communication – Learn to recognize and
articulate baby’s emotion – By helping children know what feeling they are
feeling, and how to appropriately verbalize it, will cut down the frequency of
V. The Louder She Yells, the Softer You Should Speak – Your baby will
end up matching your volume because, ultimately, he wants to engage with
you. The tone of your voice will ultimately calm him down.
VI. Try to give him a hug/cuddle – give your toddler a quiet cuddle as your
touch can do wonders. Also, try to distract him by giving him something else
to look at or play with.
VII. Learn coping skills to handle child strong emotion – Learning to deal
with strong emotions is a learned skill. Some common things which you can
do to help your tiny toddler to calm down are deep breathing, counting,
singing a song, hugging, drawing or painting a picture and sometimes giving
Toddlers need our support to calm themselves down as they can’t do it alone. They
need calm words and hugs, patience, and support.
The best way to cope here is not to cause even more disconnect by ignoring them,
or excluding them from you in time out, but by helping them to understand you
still love them just as much as before, by showing them with your actions and
understanding. You need to connect more, not less.
Toddler tantrums are not pleasant things to have as parents. It is becoming more
challenging for the new mom and dad. I hope the above-mentioned tips can help you to
have more fun and fewer tantrum times with your tiny toddlers.